


The Way You Make Me Feel

by chamel



Series: You Left Me Under Your Spell: A Collection of CaraDin Short Stories [3]
Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bespin, Canon Compliant, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Droids, F/M, Family Feels, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Fuckbuddies, Love Confessions, Planet Naboo (Star Wars), Post-Season/Series 01, Relationship Issues, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23376673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamel/pseuds/chamel
Summary: His favorite part of their meetings was waking up with her in his arms. It wasn’t that the sex wasn’t fantastic—good god, it was—but he never felt closer to her than he did in the quiet moments before dawn, when she lay with her arm thrown over his chest and her legs tangled in his. He always woke up before her and just lay there, soaking up the feeling, until she stirred at last.(Din & Cara's arrangement works great for everybody until it doesn't.)
Relationships: Cara Dune/The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)
Series: You Left Me Under Your Spell: A Collection of CaraDin Short Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680589
Comments: 18
Kudos: 126





	The Way You Make Me Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This is kind of a long one-shot but it's staying all one chapter lol.
> 
> Check those tags: this is a story about sex. There is a lot of it. If you can't deal with some smut, maybe skip this one. Also apparently I can't write anything without it turning into tortured angst, so there's that.
> 
> Title/lyrics/inspiration from the Janelle Monáe song "Make Me Feel"

_It's like I'm powerful with a little bit of tender_  
_An emotional, sexual bender_  
_Mess me up, yeah, but no one does it better_  
_There's nothin' better_  
_That's just the way you make me feel_

He was standing in a market on Naboo, selecting some choice looking jogan fruits, when he felt the hard muzzle of a blaster press into his side in the gap between his beskar plates.

“I’ve been looking for you,” his assailant growled.

“Is that so?”

“You’ve got something I want.”

Din felt heart rate increase and swallowed hard. The kid was safe back at the ship, in the care of a stripped down but effective droid. “Can’t imagine what you’re talking about.”

“You know.” The statement was accentuated by a jab with the blaster muzzle. “You’re coming with me.”

“Can I at least finish buying my jogans?” he said, hand still on a piece. The vendor had apparently not noticed the exchange.

“Suit yourself.”

Din flagged down the vendor and paid for the fruit, and all the while his abductor stood behind him, not moving a muscle.

“Thank you, sir. Anything else? For your companion?” the vendor offered, smiling pleasantly.

He received another jab in the ribs with the blaster. “No,” he answered. “Thank you.”

When the vendor had gone, his abductor leaned in. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” he asked as they walked.

“No questions. Walk faster.”

They walked in sync down the street, the blaster never leaving his side. Every meter he felt his heart rate speed up and his insides twist, his mouth going dry. When they arrived at a small, dingy cantina, he was directed inside and up the stairs. They stopped in front of a nondescript door and his abductor kicked it open, then shoved him into the pitch black room.

Din dropped the bag of jogan fruits on the ground, hearing his carefully chosen pieces go rolling across the floor. His assailant grabbed the top of his beskar breastplate and slammed him back against the door as he tore his helmet off and sent it to join the fruit. Lips met his roughly as she pressed against him, hands moving to his belt. He slipped a hand behind her head and twined his fingers through her hair, pushing her lips harder against his. Her tongue darted inside his mouth, sliding around and battling with his own.

She was working quickly, unbuckling his belt and plunging her hand into his pants. The feeling of her palm sliding along his already rock-hard length pulled a deep, guttural moan from his throat and he broke away from the kiss, gasping. She laughed, a full, hearty sound that echoed through his head.

“Do you even know where the bed is in here?” he huffed.

“Does it matter?” she answered in between kisses as she worked her way down his neck.

Grabbing her hips, Din pushed her sideways and reversed their positions. He felt her hit the wood of the door hard but he knew that the roughness would only serve to turn her on more. He unbuckled her belt rapidly and pushed her pants over her hips, dragging his palms over her curves. His fingers rubbed on the outside of her already soaking panties and she shuddered. The bruise she’d been sucking into his clavicle was abandoned as she bit away a groan into his shoulder and her hand closed around his shaft.

“Don’t tease,” she warned.

So it was like that tonight. He might have known from that performance in the market. He pushed her panties down and she squirmed as she kicked them off, pushing his pants past his hips as she did. The fabric hung up on the plates covering his thighs, but it was far enough. His hands slid down under her ass and lifted in one smooth motion, keeping her supported against the door. She immediately wrapped her legs around his hips, and the crush of her powerful thighs was almost too much for him to take. There was no way he could get out of this position even if he wanted to, but right now getting away was the very last thing he wanted in the universe. She pulled him closer with her legs and guided him to her.

“C’mon, now, now,” she huffed impatiently, squeezing him so tightly he wondered if he would have a pair of matching bruises on his hips in the morning.

He pushed into her with a single smooth thrust, eliciting a cry of pleasure from her at their joining. Stabilizing himself with one hand on the door and one hand under her ass he began rocking his hips up to meet her in a hard, fast rhythm. Her muscles clenched tightly around his shaft, encouraging to him to go more more more.

“Oh god, Cara,” he breathed, his face buried in her neck. If he could have seen them, he’d know his fingers were turning white from where they pushed against the door. His arms were burning but that sensation was about the furthest thing from his mind at the moment.

Her fingers snaked up through his hair and closed around the short curls, tugging his head back hard. White starbursts exploded in his vision as she smashed his mouth against hers again, muffling the incomprehensible noises that seemed to be coming from her throat of their own volition. Her feet pressed into his ass, her legs forcing his thrusting to come harder and faster until he was pounding into her, sending darts of pleasure jolting up his spine with each push. He was delirious and using every last shred of his self-control to hold back and wait for her.

A wave of dizziness threatened to swallow him, and he realized dimly that his lungs were screaming for air. He pulled away from the kiss and she let him, her own chest heaving as she struggled to breath.

“Din—I—I need—” she gasped, clearly unable to form any type of sensible phrase.

He knew, though. In an impressive show of will, he managed to steady himself and pull his hand off the door, snaking it between their bodies to find her clit. The cry that she made when he found it was probably loud enough to be heard the next street over, and he smothered it with another kiss. Every muscle in her legs clenched around him, making it nearly impossible for him to move, and he felt her internal muscles contracting rhythmically as she came. Yanking his hand from between them he managed one more abbreviated thrust, shuddering with his whole body at the sweet release.

He had no idea how long they stood there, after that. It might have been seconds, it might have been minutes, it might have been a half an hour. His muscles felt at once completely weakened and frozen in place, unable to move if he wanted to. Which he really didn’t. Somewhere in his mind, the ludicrous idea that he could just live his life with Cara literally wrapped around him caused a peel of laughter to erupt out of his throat.

“What’s so funny?” she breathed, her chest still heaving against his. He could practically hear the smile on her lips and desperately wished he could see it.

“Nothing,” he huffed, shaking his head as he pressed his cheek against hers. “I just… nothing. We gotta stop meeting like this.”

“Really?” she answered, clearly smirking.

“No, never.”

“That’s what I thought,” she whispered into his ear, giving his earlobe a playful nibble.

Din moaned, feeling something clench deep within his belly despite the fact that he’d come moments earlier. This woman, and the things she did to him.

“We should probably find that bed,” she suggested sensibly, though she made no movement to let him go.

“Am I supposed to carry you over there and not die tripping on a jogan?”

“You’re the one who insisted on buying them.”

“You try telling that little monster that there’s none on the ship.”

Cara laughed at that, and the sound seemed to wrap around his heart and squeeze as tight as her legs. Which, incidentally, were finally loosening their grip around his hips. The sides of his own thighs tingled as blood flowed back into them. They carefully uncoupled and she dropped her feet to the ground, wavering slightly as she did. Din grabbed her sides to steady her and felt her hands on his.

“Well aren’t you the gentleman,” she said, leaning forward to kiss him again. It was completely different than before, soft and tender, and it made his heart race.

An absurd idea came into his head, then, one that had a good chance of netting him a punch in the gut, but he acted on it anyway. In one, swift motion, he bent down and swept her off her feet and up into his arms, eliciting a very uncharacteristic squeak from her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she protested, her body tensing up. But she _didn’t_ punch him in the gut, or anywhere else, so he counted it as a win.

“Being a gentleman,” he answered, shuffling his feet across the floor to avoid stepping on a jogan.

He honestly had no clue what direction to head, or even the size and shape of the room, but he figured the bed had to be not too far from the door, right? First he bumped into a table, and then a dresser, and by the time he felt his shins hit the bed they were both cackling with laughter. He dropped her abruptly, knowing that she’d exact her revenge but not caring at all.

Sure enough, she caught him roughly behind the knees and forced him to collapse onto the bed, then grabbed his armor and hauled him toward her, capturing his mouth in a demanding kiss again. His position on his hands and knees was short lived as she tackled him suddenly and sat on his stomach. He felt her wetness soaking through his shirt and half-laughed, half-sighed.

“What am I gonna wear tomorrow?” he chided her. No doubt his pants were also covered in their fluids, and he had no spares here. Maybe they’d dry enough by morning not to be too visible.

Cara leaned down and hummed softly in his ear. “Hmmmm, nothing?”

“Well that’s backwards.”

Apparently in agreement, she pushed off his stomach and set to work to remove the armor and clothing from his lower half. He managed to push himself into a sitting position and set to pulling off vambraces and unbuckling his chest and back plates. Cara somehow managed to finish before he did and straddled his legs, sliding her way up to his hips. As she ground her crotch against his groin he felt his cock twitch again. She began fussing with his clothing but he halted her.

“You’re wearing entirely too much on top,” he reminded her, his fingers finding her armor’s buckles.

Cara quickly took over, pulling her armor off with a practiced nonchalance. With her distracted by this task, he managed to get the rest of his own clothing off, sending the pieces flying in every direction. He felt her hips rotate on his lap as she pulled her tank top and bra over her head, causing him to suck in a sharp breath. He was already getting hard again, and she was merciless.

He put his hands on her bare waist and slid them upward until they found her full breasts. It was her turn to suck in a breath when he rolled an already rock-hard nipple between his fingers and bent to take the other in his mouth. She tangled her fingers in his hair again, pushing his mouth harder against her body as he sucked and nibbled. When she reached down between them to take him in her hand he had to pull away and hiss. The sensation was almost too much, but he wanted more.

“Ready for round two?” she asked playfully, rocking her hips against him again.

“What do you think?” he managed between gritted teeth.

She slid her hand along his length, still slick from before. “Mmm, I dunno…”

“Please,” he whispered, his eyes clenched shut as he tried to maintain his composure.

He knew it wouldn’t be that easy, though. It never was. It would be a while yet before his next release, and by that time he would be reduced to complete incoherence, everything stripped away. This woman, and the things she did to him.

* * *

His favorite part of their meetings was waking up with her in his arms. It wasn’t that the sex wasn’t fantastic—good god, it was—but he never felt closer to her than he did in the quiet moments before dawn, when she lay with her arm thrown over his chest and her legs tangled in his. He always woke up before her and just lay there, soaking up the feeling, until she stirred at last.

This morning was no different. He’d been awake now for five, maybe ten minutes, just listening to her soft and steady breathing. The scent of her was all over him, and if he breathed in too deeply he could make himself dizzy. He did it anyway, savoring the way that it washed over him and made something twist deep in his gut.

He spent these mornings mostly imagining what it would be like to wake up like this every morning. What it would be like if their relationship wasn’t limited to bimonthly trysts in grungy cantinas and backwater hovels. It was torture, thinking these things, but such utterly sweet torture that he couldn’t stop himself.

All of it was impossible, he knew. Cara had made it quite clear that she was in no way interested in anything more than sex. Bad history with relationships, she said. Didn’t want to ruin their friendship, she said. When he’d agreed to their arrangement he’d felt the same way, but now…

Cara stirred slightly. She’d be waking soon. He prepared himself for the morning ritual that he knew so well by now. He’d need to brew up some caf as soon as he got back to the ship; one night with her—and the morning after—made his head spin like he’d been on a week-long bender.

His heart fluttered as he felt her lips press on his chest in a tender kiss then curl into a smile. She nuzzled him slightly and his arm curled more tightly around her as if he could keep her there. One of her hands slid up his inner thigh, making his skin tremble, and danced lightly over his morning erection. He moaned but grabbed her hand, pulling it away from him.

“I should go,” he made himself say, unable to keep from sighing.

He felt her frown against his chest. “I dunno, you seem ready. Could make it a quickie.”

“You make this so hard.”

“Happy to make it harder,” she replied, wresting her hand from his and returning it to his groin.

There were two ways their mornings went, and this was quickly going in the way he’d hoped to avoid. He really did have a lot to do today, and he knew that as good as a send-off fuck felt, it always left him even more wrecked for the day than usual. His body, however, was certainly not cooperating, and even his mind was a dirty traitor. The waves of pleasure her soft touch were sending through him were quickly overwhelming rational thought.

“Cara,” he breathed, half a protest, half a request.

Her hand closed around him and slid slowly along his shaft, and he was unable to control the shudder that rocked through him. Keeping her hand in place, she moved to straddle him. Her eyes were closed, as he knew they would be. The light of the morning was dim as it streamed through broken slats on the blinds, but it was enough that his secret would have been in danger in anyone else’s hands. Not her’s, though.

As much as he had protested this, he relished these moments where he could see the mischievous smile that played on her lips before she bent to kiss him. His hands moved of their own volition, cupping her breast and squeezing her ass as she guided him inside her. For a moment she just sat there. He didn’t know what she was thinking in these moments, but he savored them for the simple feeling of being inside her, as close as two people could be. He often thought that in a different universe they’d be staring deeply into each other’s eyes in these moments.

Then the spell was broken as she rocked her hips against his, moaning when she found the friction she was after. He propped himself up on one elbow so that he could reach her breasts with his mouth, sucking and raking his teeth on her nipple. The action seemed to unlock something more frantic inside her and she sped up immediately, plunging him as deeply as she could at the bottom of each thrust. He wouldn’t be able to hold on long, and that was the point. She knew she would drive rapidly him to the brink, and she delighted in it.

It was one of those mornings when all his self control was shredded and scattered to the winds. A few more of her pumps was all it took to send him over the edge. Waves of pleasure crashed over him again and again, blinding and deafening him to everything but the writhing woman on top of him. Having succeeded at her goal, she ground down on him harder, and he tried to concentrate long enough to bring her to her own climax—though he was pretty sure she didn’t need his help at this point.

She cried his name as her thighs tightened around him and the sound sent a rush of elation through him. The look of pleasure on her face—cheeks flushed pink, full lips parted, eyes squeezed shut—was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen before. Of course he’d seen that look before, but every time was more beautiful than the last.

Then, as if she was aware of his stare, she smirked at him and bent down to kiss his own parted lips. These were the dangerous kisses, the ones so full of passion and tenderness that he couldn’t help but read too much into them. The ones that made him believe, if even for a second, that her feelings for him went deeper than she let on. But then it ended and she climbed off of him, flopping on the bed next to him and opening her eyes to stare at the ceiling.

“See? You had time for a quickie.”

Din didn’t know how to tell her that he had all the time in the universe for her, if only she would ask it of him. He didn’t know how to tell her that that quickie would haunt him for the next two weeks, until finally he’d start to feel like he could get on with his life and she’d come crashing back into it. But no, he couldn’t tell her; as messed up as it was, he’d take the pain of not having her love over the agony of never seeing her again.

“You can have the first shower,” she offered magnanimously, sending a hand trailing along his chest and raising goosebumps in its wake.

“Gather my jogans, will you?” he deadpanned. The armor he put around his heart was like the beskar he put over his body. Just like the beskar, she had a way of stripping it off unlike anyone else, and just like the beskar he would slowly replace it this morning in preparation for their parting.

She laughed, but got out of bed anyway in search of the wayward fruits. He watched her for a moment, bending over naked without a shred of modesty, then restored another piece of armor to its place around his heart and turned to the shower.

_You keep on asking me the same questions (why?)_  
_And second guessing all my intentions_  
_Should know by the way I use my compression_  
_That you've got the answers to my confessions_

It was almost exactly two weeks later when she found them on Bespin, sitting in a cantina. He had the kid with him this time, and she hesitated. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the kid—sure, he’d tried to kill her that one time, but she was pretty much over that—but it was just that Din was so damned _domestic_ around the kid. Watching him feed the little monster was like getting a glimpse of a life she’d never have— _and never wanted_ , she reminded herself sharply. She always felt like an intruder, awkward and out of place. Not that he ever made her feel that way; no, her own brain did all the work for him.

She took a deep breath. She could handle a bit of awkwardness, just long enough to let him know where she was staying. When she walked into visual range the kid grinned brightly, as if she was his favorite person, and the way Din’s posture perked up, she imagined him making the same expression beneath his helmet. She hid her amusement in a smirk and slid into the empty chair as the kid babbled happily.

“How’s it going, kid?” she asked as she sat, leaning back in the chair and stretching her legs out in front of her. “Didn’t expect to find you here,” she said to the Mandalorian as her gaze tracked around the bar, trying to look at anything but the pair in front of her. “Seems a bit rich for your blood.”

She saw him shrug out of the corner of her eye. “Had a bounty to drop off. I remembered Kuill telling me about this place: good view, good food. Can’t say I’ve tried the latter yet, though.”

The view _was_ excellent, in as much as a view of clouds could be. But they were looking particularly dramatic that evening, making spectacular mountain ranges out of nothing but vapor. She made a mental note to get a room here in the future; the place she’d found was buried in the middle of the city, and what good was coming to Cloud City if you couldn’t see the clouds?

“Feel free to grab something,” he offered. “My treat.”

“Oh I’m not staying long. Just wanted to let you know where to find me. You know, if that’s something you’re interested in,” she added with a mischievous grin.

She could swear she saw his shoulders droop an infinitesimal degree, as if he was disappointed by this answer. She resisted the urge to narrow her eyes and scrutinize him further. Before he could reply, though, a barman approached the table.

“Can I get you anything, ma’am?” he asked congenially, drying his hands on a towel. “Soup’s particularly tasty today, if I do say so myself.”

Cara wrinkled her nose at the _ma’am—_ she hated being ma’amed—but let it slide. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“You sure?” the barman pressed in a way that reminded her of a grandfather encouraging a kid to eat.

She glanced at Din, who tipped his head encouragingly. “Just a whiskey, on the rocks,” she said.

The barman tutted at this but bustled away to get the drink. When she looked back Din had returned his attention to the kid, trying to deliver another spoon of the much-hyped soup into his mouth. In his excitement, the kid grabbed it out of Din’s hand and tilted it sideways, spilling the liquid onto the table. His ears drooped sadly.

“Well, what did you think was going to happen?” Din asked him, but his tone was playful. He retrieved the spoon from the kid and made to fill it again, but Cara intervened.

“Wait, he’s just gonna do it again,” she said, unable to stop herself.

She took the spoon from Din and handed it back to the kid, then rotated it in his hand so it faced up. Tilting the bowl toward him, she guided the kid’s hand to scoop up the soup. When the soup magically (to his mind) stayed in the spoon, the kid squealed in delight. Cara laughed despite herself.

“Where’d you get so good at this?” Din asked, mirth obvious in his voice.

“I had a younger sister.” She didn’t offer more, and he didn’t ask. He knew better.

The barman returned then, unwittingly breaking the tension as he dropped off the whiskey in front of her. “Sure I can’t get you anything more substantial?”  
  
“I’m good,” she confirmed brusquely, taking a sip.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you all are such a lovely family,” he said.

Cara froze mid-sip, and the cold knot in her stomach made it feel like she’d swallowed a hunk of ice. She waited for Din to say something— _anything_ —but he was silent. Only the kid cooed happily. She swallowed hard and dropped the glass from her lips.

“We’re just friends, actually. Well, not those two. They’re family. I’m just a hanger-on.” Her tone became more and more bitter as she spoke, but she couldn’t stop it. It was all too much. The reminder of her sister, and now this… She threw back the whiskey in one shot and stood abruptly. She should probably thank him for the drink but she didn’t trust herself to speak, so she just walked off.

“Cara, wait—!” Din called from behind her.

She heard the scrape of his chair as he jumped up, but she didn’t turn around. Couldn’t. This had been a mistake.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” she could hear the barman apologizing, but his words faded as she reached the door.

He couldn’t follow her, and she felt a cruel satisfaction in that knowledge. She hadn’t even told him what she’d come to say, but it didn’t matter. She needed some time to cool off, or maybe she just needed to go pick a fight somewhere.

She shouldn’t have been surprised when he found her. He was a bounty hunter, after all, the best she’d ever met and probably the best in the whole damn galaxy. Still, was she that easy to read? Apparently so. He’d even had time to drop the kid off at the ship.

She was hunched over, sitting on the ground with her elbows on her knees as she stared at the ground. A half-empty bottle of cheap booze dangled from one hand between her legs; the first half had done its job of dulling the pain. Not of the bruises she’d recently acquired, or of her split lower lip that was still dripping blood onto the concrete floor, but of a pain whose presence she wouldn’t even acknowledge. Too bad that _pain_ was now standing in front of her.

“Why are you here?” she rasped, not looking up at him, her voice low and gravelly.

“You know.”

She huffed out a mirthless laugh and took another swig of the bottle. “Do I?”

“Cara, I’m your friend.”

“Is that all?” she croaked. “You weren’t so quick to correct the bartender.” Why’d she say that? She shouldn’t have said that. Deep down she didn’t know what she wanted the answer to be.

She saw him shrug out of the corner of her eye. “It didn’t seem worth correcting. What do you care what he thinks, anyway?”

 _It’s not what he thinks, it’s what you think_ , she wanted to say, but didn’t. Instead she just shrugged in response.

Din’s gloved hand appeared in her line of vision. “C’mon. Friends don’t let friends wallow in a bottle after they’ve just beat the snot out of half a dozen dudes.”

A genuine smile played on her lips at that, though she fought it. Grudgingly she accepted his hand and pulled herself up, finally looking up at him. The concern in his posture was obvious. As if to confirm it further, he raised his hand to her face and tenderly wiped the blood off her chin, his gloved thumb brushing lightly along the edge of her lip. Her breath hitched in her throat and she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“Oh, Cara,” he said softly, his voice both chiding and gentle.

Then his hand fell away from her face and the spell was broken. She opened her eyes and smirked at him, ignoring the pain in her lip as she did so. “You shoulda seen the other guys.”

“I did, they’re outside,” he replied dryly. “I know this is a fight club, but we should probably get out of here before they arrest you for excessive force.”

“But that’s just my usual amount of force,” she complained playfully.

“Which is excessive for the rest of us mere mortals. C’mon, why don’t you come back to the Razor Crest for a bit?”

She nearly froze in her tracks at this suggestion, but managed to play it off as a temporary jolt of pain in her leg. At least, she thought she managed. “You sure that’s a good idea?” she asked, trying to inject as much innuendo into the question as possible.

He didn’t take the bait. “Why wouldn’t it be?” he answered with all innocence.

Cara sighed heavily. “Ok, sure, why the fuck not?”

 _You’ll regret it_ , her brain screamed at her in answer, _this is dangerous!_ _Stay away! STAY AWAY!_

She took a long pull of the booze that she still carried, trying to drown it out. Din looked at her with that goddamn concerned demeanor again, but he didn’t say anything. This didn’t mean anything, she told herself. It was just that _friends_ part of friends with benefits. Friends could go hang out with friends on their ships. Friends could be concerned about each other. Just because they were sleeping together didn’t mean she should read more into his offer than was there. He’d agreed to their arrangement without hesitation all those months ago, so surely he wasn’t offering—and she wasn’t hoping for—anything more than friendly companionship, right?

_Right??_

_Baby, don't make me spell it out for you_  
_All of the feelings that I've got for you_  
_Can't be explained, but I can try for you_  
_Yeah, baby, don't make me spell it out for you_

He wasn’t sure bringing her back to the Razor Crest was the best idea, but what else was he going to do? Neither leaving her alone nor taking her back to whatever shithole she’d rented seemed like good options, so the Crest it was. She’d only been on the ship a couple of times, briefly, since he left her on Nevarro, and that was probably for the best. Keeping his two worlds separate helped maintain his façade of calculated detachment, but after today he felt it crumbling.

He could see the tension in her posture as she walked up the ship’s ramp despite her best efforts to conceal it. It was the slight difference in the carriage of her shoulders, the way her spine was straighter than normal. When they entered the common area of the ship they found the UGN-0 droid trying to get the kid to eat some leafy green that he had no interest in, and Din was surprised to see a genuine smile of affection on her face.

“Still surprises me you brought another droid on board,” she said as she took a position leaning against the table. “Where’d you get that thing anyway?”

“A friend in Mos Eisley built him to spec for me,” he explained.

“And you trust it with the kid?”  
  
“I trust my friend,” he answered. “She knows what she’s doing.”

“Who knew you had friends in Mos Eisley?” she asked rhetorically.

“Just the one, actually.”

Cara smirked at him. “Anyone I should know about?”

“Only if you’re concerned about someone who’s appointed herself the kid’s grandmother.”

She laughed at that, but he could see the relief on her face and he marveled at it. Cara was acting strange. She turned her attention to the droid and the kid again in time to see the kid take and uncertain bite of the vegetable and spit it out again.

“You need to slather that in something tasty if you want him to eat it,” she told the droid.

The small UGN-0 turned toward her. “Thank you for the suggestion,” he replied mechanically, taking the leaf in one hand and wheeling off into the galley. He pulled the kid along with him, leaving them alone. Din wondered if that had been Cara’s intention.

“Can I get you anything for those bruises?” he offered. “We have an ice maker.”

She shook her head, some unreadable expression on her face. She pushed off the table and sauntered over to him slowly, swinging her hips every so slightly. “I don’t need ice,” she murmured as she stopped in front of him, their bodies inches away. She raised a hand to his neck and trailed her fingers along his skin. “Maybe something else could make me feel better.”

His heart sped up at this suggestion, but he took a deep breath and ignored it. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t have a lot of space for that kind of thing.” He nodded toward the open sleeping rack, barely big enough for one person.

“Lack of a bed didn’t stop us last time…”

He couldn’t help but give a short laugh at that, shaking his head. “Cara, I thought we could just… talk?”

The smile slipped off her face and her brow furrowed. “Oh. About what?”

“I don’t know, anything?” he shrugged, suddenly not sure of what to say. “Uh, what have you been up to lately?”

She considered this for a minute, crossing her arms in front of her and wandering off across the small space again. “Not much. Just bouncing around, running small jobs for Greef.”

“You get back to Nevarro often?” he asked with surprise. How had he not known this?

She smirked. “Yeah, well, Karga keeps me busy.”

“Why do we never overlap there?”

“It’s more fun to find you in random places,” she answered, a mischievous grin on her face.

Din laughed and felt any remaining tension in the room dissipate. The kid and UGN-0 picked that moment to come toddling and rolling back into the common space, heading toward the pile of pillows that the kid favored as a sleeping spot.

“We’re about to get kicked out of here,” Din announced. He shook his head affectionately as the kid flopped onto the pile, yawning dramatically.

“We could take this upstairs?” Cara suggested. The smile playing on her lips was at once innocent and suggestive, and this time when he felt his heart racing he didn’t try to stop it.

He dimmed the lights in the common space for the kid as they ascended the ladder to the cockpit. Cara relaxed into the jump seat, stretching her legs out in front of her, as he took his seat in the pilot’s chair and swiveled it around to face her.

“Now _this_ is a view,” she said, her voice low and husky.

It _was_ quite stunning. There was no moon in the sky that night, but the pale light of the bright stars just barely illuminated the clouds surrounding the city. Just enough starlight filtered into the cabin to render them in monochromatic outlines. In her position facing the windshield, Cara’s features were scarcely visible, but he could still see the elegant lines of her nose and the curve of her lips. He wondered…

“I can’t see any of your features,” she offered, apparently having the same thoughts as him. “You’re completely backlit. I couldn’t see your face, if you wanted…”

Slowly he placed his hands on either side of the helmet and lifted it off, placing it on the console in front of him. He glanced at the stars again, so much brighter without the visor intervening. When he looked back at Cara she was smiling softly at him, a pensive expression on her face. He was about to inquire about her thoughts when she got up from the seat and slid wordlessly into his lap, straddling him and the chair.

Din inhaled sharply, his body immediately reacting to her touch. She leaned in close, her face only inches from his, and dragged her fingers along the edge of his jaw. Her other hand slipped behind his neck and pulled his lips against hers. It was a tender kiss, unhurried by wild desire or reckless passion, and it was over far sooner than he was ready for.

“See? Now we can do that,” she whispered, the corners of her mouth curling into a satisfied smirk.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea…” he replied despite himself.

“I can be quiet.”

Din laughed quietly. “No, you can’t.”

Her lips turned into an exaggerated pout, but she was having trouble fighting back a laugh. She leaned in closer, putting her lips next to his ear. “Tell me to leave, and I will.”

If there was one thing he could not do, it was that. He shook his head almost imperceptibly and she leaned back again, grinning. This time it was him pulling her down into another kiss, desperate to feel her lips on his. He slid his hands around her waist, pulling her shirt up to let his hands contact her bare skin. She moaned almost inaudibly when he did and tangled her hands through his hair, deepening the kiss. She rocked her hips forward, pushing against the rapidly tightening region of his pants.

He groaned at that—too loudly—and she broke away from the kiss, giggling as she put her finger against his lips. “Now who can’t be quiet?” she whispered.

“Well, when you do things like that,” he huffed, breathing hard.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, smirking. “Oh so you’d rather I didn’t?” She rocked her hips again to punctuate this, and he dropped his head back on the headrest.

“Ngghh,” he groaned softly, unable to form words. “Don’t… stop…”

“I thought this was a bad idea,” she said, a note of challenge in her voice.

Her eyes sparkled in the starlight as she looked at him in a way that made his heart nearly stop. It was pure, unfiltered affection, not just lust or desire. He had no words to answer that look with. He certainly couldn’t say no to it. There was nothing to do but pull her into a kiss again. She smiled against his lips and her hands slid to his belt, unbuckling it with an easy familiarity.

When her hand slipped inside his pants and found him, he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from moaning. She slid her grip along his length, playing her fingers lightly over his most sensitive part and eliciting a deep shudder from him. His hands were shaking as he fumbled with her own belt, as if he hadn’t undone it more than a dozen times before. Why tonight should feel any different he didn’t know, but it did.

Finally he gained entrance to her pants and slid his hand into her already wet folds, his fingers brushing her clit tantalizingly. She arched her back at this and threw her head back as she bit down hard on her lower lip. Her hips tried to grind down on his hand but he kept his touch light, letting the pleasure build slowly.

“Goddamn it, Din,” she hissed, planting both her hands on his shoulders.

She pushed harder against him and he he slipped a couple fingers inside her, curling them forward as he thumbed her clit to give her the friction she desired. She gasped, squirming against his hand. A wave of pleasure shot up through his spine and threatened to blind him, dulling his senses to everything but the woman in his arms. She was no longer touching him but it didn’t matter: the feel of her writhing under his ministrations, desperately trying not to moan, was almost too much for him to handle. She was grinding hard against him now, her hips pushing rhythmically as he gave into her every demand.

Abruptly she stilled, her eyes clenched shut and mouth open in a wordless cry, and he felt her muscles clenching around his hand. His own breath caught in his throat as he watched her come, a look of pure ecstasy on her face. Then she exhaled heavily, collapsing toward him. Her chest was still heaving as she put her forehead to his, their noses brushing together. He felt more than saw the smile that crinkled her eyes. She kissed him lightly once, twice, again and again until they both dissolved into laughter.

As he withdrew his hand she slid hers down to his uncomfortably strained pants again. “Hmmm someone better take care of this,” she murmured in his ear.

Din didn’t trust himself to speak. His jaw clenched and his eyes closed as she curled her hand around him. He was so wrapped up in the feeling of it that when her weight disappeared from his lap his eyes shot open in a brief panic. But she was kneeling in front of the chair, smirking up at him as she yanked his pants past his hips. His erection sprang free and almost immediately her mouth was on him. He shuddered as her tongue swirled around his shaft and teased his head, winding a high-tension wire of pleasure tighter and tighter within him.

She reached up and took one of his hands, guiding it to her head. At this encouragement he wound his fingers gently in her hair, feeling the soft strands twirl through his fingers as her head moved steadily. He heard his breaths getting shallower and fast as if they were coming from someone else; the only thing he could focus on was her touch. The wire was getting tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any minute, and as amazing as this was he desperately wanted…

“Cara,” he breathed, not sure he’d even voiced it loud enough to be audible.

“Mmm?” she replied, her mouth still on him. The vibration of her voice made his eyes roll back in his head for a moment.

“I… n–need you…” he managed, barely able to speak, much less form intelligible sentences.

The air was cool on him as she pulled back, sitting on her haunches. “You have me.”

Did she even know what those words meant to him in this moment? He hadn’t intended to draw them out, and certainly she didn’t mean them _like that_ , but it was still more than his brain could handle. He pulled her up to standing again and back toward him, forgetting that she was still wearing pants.

Thankfully she figured out his intentions. She paused just long enough to strip her lower half then she straddled him again, sinking slowly onto his waiting cock. He inhaled sharply, the breath catching in his throat, but then her mouth was on his again and breathing seemed completely optional. She rocked her hips slowly, and he slid his hands to grab her ass and push her even closer.

As she moved her breathing began coming in shorter increments and they both gasped through the kisses, unwilling to let their lips part for more than a few seconds. She began grinding down on him harder and harder, sending fireworks up to explode behind his eyelids. When she pulled away from the kiss he forced his eyes to open, looking into her dark eyes with unabashed love. He wondered if she could make out any features of his face in this light, with his head thrown back like it was, and decided he didn’t care.

On the last thrust she shuddered, dropping her head into his neck to smother the cry that tried to leave her lips. He felt her muscles clench around him and it sent him over the edge. His eyes closed again as she continued to rock against him, sending wave after wave of pleasure through him until it was almost too much but he couldn’t ask her to stop. He felt his hand move of its own accord to the back of her head, holding her as close as possible as his mind went blank except for one thought:

 _I love you_ , he mouthed into her hair, barely realizing that his lips formed the words as they brushed lightly against her ear.

There was no way she could know what he had said, even if she’d felt his mouth move, but even so the knowledge that he’d done it made his chest tight. They sat there, wrapped in each other’s arms and legs, for a length of time that couldn’t be measured. It couldn’t be that comfortable—beskar still covered his chest and shoulders—but neither of them moved.

Eventually she pulled her face away from his neck, a sort of dopey, blissed-out smile on her face. Not that he’d ever say that to her, and anyway he was sure his was the mirror image. She kissed him again, her lips swollen from the nearly nonstop contact with his, and it sent warmth streaming down through his chest to ignite a fire in his belly.

“Told you I could be quiet,” she said smugly.

“Color me impressed.”

She laughed and punched him playfully in the shoulder, then surprised him by leaning down to kiss him _again_.

“You can’t keep your lips off me tonight,” he teased.

It was nearly impossible to tell in the monochrome light, but he could have sworn that her cheeks darkened ever so slightly. “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” she mumbled. A small, mischievous smile formed on her lips before she pressed them to his, both of them laughing into the kiss this time.

By the time they made it down the ladder his legs felt like jelly from her sitting on them for so long. They nearly collapsed under him at the bottom, but he was still holding onto the ladder. Cara ran her fingers through her completely messy hair in a futile attempt to tame it, smiling at him softly.

“You know, I don’t have to leave…” she whispered to him.

“At this point I was going to insist you stay,” he answered, his voice barely coming through the modulator on his helmet. “Not that you can’t take care of yourself, clearly. You can have my rack, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

She shrugged, looking at him with a mischievously innocent expression. “I dunno, I thought we could both fit.”

He stared at her for a moment, but she seemed to be serious. He didn’t know how comfortable it would be, but he supposed they could try. He nodded in agreement and began shedding his armor as quickly and quietly as he could. For her part, Cara pulled off her armor and outer layers until all she was wearing was panties and a tank top. Trying not to focus on how unbelievably beautiful she looked standing there in the pale nightlight, Din walked to his bunk and climbed in feet first. If he scooted over as far as possible to one side he could make a few inches of room.

Without hesitation Cara climbed in on top of him, laying mostly on him and partly in the gap he’d managed. He reached up to pull off his helmet again, laying it to the side of the open door. Then he wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled up under his arm, using his shoulder for a pillow. It was a position they’d taken many times before, but not usually in such close quarters. He planted a gentle kiss on the top of her head, holding her tighter than was strictly necessary.

On the face of it, not much was different about that night than any of their previous couplings. Nevertheless, _something had changed_. He didn’t know what, or how, or what it would mean. All he knew was there would no replacement of the armor around his heart this time. She’d scattered every last one of his carefully guarded pieces to the wind, never to be collected again, leaving him feeling at once completely vulnerable and completely free.

* * *

For the first time in, well, ever, she woke before him. When his eyes fluttered open she was still laying on his shoulder, but the arm she had thrown over his chest was tight and her breathing was even. How long had she been awake? He lifted his free hand and trailed it lightly over her arm, savoring the feeling of her next to him.

“You could have woken me if you wanted to get up,” he whispered. The ship was still dark and quiet, so it must be quite early.

“Who said I wanted to get up?” she retorted softly.

“Did you sleep enough? Sorry about the bed…”

“Stop. I slept fine. I always sleep well in your arms.”

The last part was so soft he thought he might have imagined it, but no, she’d said it. His heart picked up speed and he wondered if she could hear it. She had to have, where her ear was sitting.

They lay there, unmoving, and every minute he thought she would push up and leave his embrace. But she didn’t. He tried to think of another time they’d just spent like this and couldn’t.

Eventually she broke the silence. “What are we doing, Din?” she asked, her voice almost melancholy.

His heart stopped, or felt like it did. “What?” he breathed.

“Us,” she sighed. “Is this really working?”

“Isn’t it?” He felt his insides tying into knots. This couldn’t be happening, especially now. He tried to keep his mind from spiraling downward into the abyss, but it was impossible. Was she going to break things off with him like this?

“Do you ever want more?”

This was a trap. It was certainly a trap. “I–I don’t know what you mean,” he stammered lamely.

“I think you do.”

A long silence stretched between them. He didn’t know what to say, how to keep this from spiraling out of control.

“What did you say last night?” she asked. “You mouthed something into my ear.”

He was caught. So she had noticed, and now what? He couldn’t lie to her. “I said… I said that I love you,” he answered. His voice was barely audible, but he knew she heard him.

She was silent then, but he took solace in the fact that she hadn’t gotten up and left immediately.

“Cara…?” he prompted quietly after a while, wondering what was happening.

“I’m processing.”

Din sighed. He had to salvage this somehow. “Look, I understand that you’re not interested in anything more, and that’s ok with me. Whatever I might… _feel_ for you, it doesn’t have to matter. I just don’t want to lose what we have.”

“Of course it matters,” she replied, her voice completely unreadable. “Did you mean it?”

“What?” he breathed.

“Did you mean it? What you said last night.”

“Yes.”

She moved then, and he thought it was well and truly over. She was going to get up and leave and he’d be lucky if he caught sight of her across a crowded market in the future.

Instead she climbed further on top of him and pushed herself up to capture his lips with hers. He was briefly frozen in shock and disbelief. But her body was a warm weight on top of him and her lips were insistent, and his body began responding before his brain had processed what was happening. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tighter against him.

It was one of those dangerous kisses, full of passion and tenderness, but today it didn’t feel dangerous at all. He thought about all the things it promised—all those things he had thought were out of his grasp forever—and his heart felt like it would burst.

When she pulled away she was smiling at him softly with her eyes closed, her features just visible in the dim light. Her hand slid up to splay over his face and he knew she was trying to read his expression. For his part, he was just staring in amazement.

“Cara, what… what does this mean? For… us?” he whispered.

“Whatever you want it to mean,” she murmured back, putting her face down next to his.

She couldn't really mean that… could she? He could hardly breathe. “Stay with me,” he managed, “stay with us.”

She nuzzled along the side of his face, kissing him lightly along the jawline. “Mmm, we’re going to need a bigger bed.”

 _We_. This had to be a dream. That explained all of it. As real as it felt—as real as she felt in his arms—clearly he just hadn’t woken up yet. Her trail of kisses made its way back to his mouth and he closed his eyes as her lips met his again. Well, he was certainly going to enjoy this dream while it lasted.

Suddenly something grabbed a chunk of his hair and yanked, hard. His eyes flew open in time to see the kid clambering up to sit next to his head in the rack. The kid grinned at him broadly, cooing softly as he looked from Din to Cara and back again. Cara laughed and stretched a hand out to ruffle the kids ears slightly.

“Sorry master. Sorry mistress. I did not see him get up,” UGN-0’s mechanical voice apologized from the ground below them.

“Did that thing just call me mistress?” Cara asked, eyebrow cocked as she looked down at the droid.

“Guess he figured it out,” Din chuckled softly.

“You’re telling me that you didn’t have him programmed like that?”  
  
“I would never presume.”

“Uh huh,” she replied, her lips curling suspiciously.

She leaned down to kiss him again but the kid was having none of it. He grabbed ahold of Din’s hair again, this time completely on purpose. Din was torn between annoyance and gratitude for proving that this was, in fact, not a dream.

“Ok, ok,” he said as Cara laughed, “we’re getting up.”

He reached down to grab his helmet and hit the lights, letting the cabin slowly illuminate. Removing the kid down to the ground again, he pushed himself up and reluctantly placed the helmet on his head again. It meant that he wouldn’t feel her lips on his until it came off again, but a feeling of elation surged through him when he realized that it could be any time. She was _staying._ He carefully extracted himself from the small space, looking down at her and still not quite believing it was true.

Still in the rack, Cara stretched languidly, awakening a horde of butterflies in his stomach and a flame of desire even lower. “Speak for yourself, I’m exhausted,” she said with an exaggerated yawn.

He stared at her. “You said…”

“You expect me to get any sleep after you tell me that you love me in the middle of sex?”

His jaw dropped open, and though she couldn’t see it, he could tell from her knowing smile that she could read him like a book.

“Tell me you have some caf on board,” she said through another yawn, apparently ignoring the bombshell she’d just dropped.

“Y-yeah,” he said, his voice cracking slightly through the modulator.

“Good,” she replied, grinning at him. “Gimme 10 and then I’ll take the biggest mug you have. Probably we should leave soon, yeah? This berth must be costing you a fortune.”

He was reeling after the dramatic switch to practical talk. He shook his head slightly trying to focus. “Don’t you have stuff to pick up, wherever you were staying?”

She shook her head, smiling at him with an expression that could only be described as _loving_. “I have everything I need here.”

_So real, so good, so fuckin' real_  
_That's just the way you make me feel_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank goodness I also can't write anything without a tooth-rotting fluffy ending, amiright?? XD
> 
> I have to tell you that I'm so in love with this story and I hope you love it too. I would love love to hear what you think. Your comments make my day!


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